two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make us even.

i return to you like i always do.
when i close my eyes i think of you.

   we do not get unlimited chances to have the things we want
& for this i know that there is nothing worse
than missing an opportunity that could have changed your life.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly
possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you
had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or
gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your
girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail
and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And
how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were
that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see
the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long
all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who
make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will
finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life
that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

if that’s what it takes, i’ll do it everyday now.
still, for your smile, i’d run another mile.
barefoot & bruised, & laughing all the while.

i kind of hope you choke on your words.
& i kind of hope you get what you deserve.

I remember a time, a place, a particular fourth of July, the
things that happened in that decade of war and change. I remember a
house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street
like a lot of other streets. I remember how hard it was growing up
among people and places I loved. Most of all, I remember how hard it
was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years I still look back
in wonder.

each night, it ends too soon.
you don’t hold me like you used to.
& your eyes look like they’ve seen too much.
because it’s always some excuse.
this time i fear i’m losing you.

There are some things you can’t bring yourself to leave,
& those are the things that leave you.

Did you leave something behind? It looked like nothing at the
time. Now you fear that it’s too late. They just can’t believe that
there is nothing between you and me. I’d rather plead the 5th than talk
about the girl you’re still in love with. But I don’t know what I was
expecting to find. Am I losing my mind or just biding my time?

I have a lot more patience for others than I have for myself,
and I’m much better at bringing out the best in others than in myself.
That’s just the kind of person I am. I’m the scratchy stuff on the side
of the matchbox. But that’s fine with me. I don’t mind at all. Better
to be a first-class matchbox than a second-class match.

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower, makes you
talk a little lower about the things you could not show her. And it’s
been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will
be better than the last.

And I’m here to tell you that whatever you say, I’m not going to
change my mind about you. Okay, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I’m not
going to stop, you know, loving you.’ I paused and wondered if that
were true. I had never stopped loving anyone. I wasn’t sure it was
possible. I had stopped having crushes on people before, but that was
different. Love felt like a thing you couldn’t change.

sometimes i wonder what i’d say to you
if you suddenly walked back into my life again.
i wonder what i’d say to you after all this time.
after you broke my heart & left.
but most of all, i wonder what you would say to me.

i will head out alone & hope for the best.
& we can hang our heads down as we skip the goodbyes.

.
you turned out to be more than i bargained for
& i can tell that we both just need to get away.
forgive me, if i admit, that i’d love to love you,
but i’m afraid we’ll both realize it when it gets too late.

if you keep taking steps backwards,
the past is bound to repeat itself.

no, i don’t believe anything you say at all,
because you did everything you could
to make sure that i would fall.
so, me? i’m on the ground.
& you? you’re out the door.

A year’s gone by since these streets were covered in white. Have
you ever thought of me since that cold winter night? And I hope it hurt
for you half as much as it’s hurt for me. I’ve never made you promises
I didn’t mean to keep.

you’re so good at taking your time to get back at me.
i will wait for you forever if you would just ask me.
i thought that i could change you, but you changed me.
it doesn’t feel right holding someone else’s hand.

Why’d you have to wait? Where were you?Just a little late, you found me.

“Strange, isn’t it? Each man’s life touches so many other lives.
When he isn’t around he leaves an awful hole, doesn’t he?”

“Hell, I’ve always been old Ben. You know what though? I don’t
mind. I mean if my muscles ache, it’s because I’ve used them. It’s hard
for me to walk up them steps now, it’s ’cause I walked up ’em every
night to lay next to a man who loved me. I got a few wrinkles here and
there, but I’ve laid under thousands of skies with sunny days. I look
and feel this way well ’cause I drank and I smoked, I lived and I
loved, danced, sang, sweat and screwed my way through a pretty damn
good life if you ask me. Getting old ain’t bad Ben, getting old, that’s
earned.”

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